Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Combat Patrol League batrep1

Ordo Fraternitas Combat Patrol League: Battle Report 1

Gornutz was not pleased, but then again he rarely was. "Zoggin' trees!" He yelled for the umpteenth time. The vast under-growth had slowed down his advance and to Gornutz this was unnacceptable as it meant Blarnok's boyz may get to the action first.

Leading the way through the tangle of woods, Gornutz emerged into a clearing and caught sight of the enemy for the first time cowering in cover like a typical human. Gornutz could feel a pulse of energy well up inside as the enemy was now within striking distance! "Der dey are boyz! Get 'em!" With a rousing Waaagh! the boyz surged forth.

As his boyz pushed forward Gornutz looked over at Blarnok's boyz squabbling amongst themselves, their advance on the right flank stuttering. Gornutz mused for a moment, "Serves dat fluff Blarnok right fer not keepin' proppa respekt amongst da ladz." Gornutz would be Gork-damned if his boyz ever got that unruly as to create a delay from getting stuck in a good scrap!

Entering the undergrowth where the enemy was lurking Gornutz stumbled and fell as a searing blast of melta shot overhead which incinerated Narnar, the nearest boy behind him. "Zoggin' trees!" The difficult terrain did more to infuriate the Nob than the enemy guns. "Dem pewpew-lazurs weren't fit fer grots!" Gornutz had told his boyz. But now that Gornutz had failed to close the distance the initial push had failed and his boyz were shot to pieces as they got caught in the open. Several of his boyz were lit up in a swathe of flame that would make any Burna Boy greener with envy. Gornutz was momentarily impressed with the fact that the humans had brought a proper weapon and also Gulgog's burny dance, the ork warrior awash in flame was too dumb to realize he was already dead but was determined to club the 'oomie tank with his Shoota anyway.

"Come on ladz! We'ze orks and we'ze built fer winnin'!" cried Gornutz, rallying the boyz for a renewed assault wrecking the human tank. The humans evacuated the smoldering wreck, desperately shooting the still dangerous gaggle of orks bearing down on them. "Der's no escape 'oomies... I'm gonna ta clobber tha lot of yooz!" Then the world turned red in a maelstrom of death...

After the butchering of the human squad (and taking shelter behind the wrecked Chimera, he was lootin' see?), Gornutz could hear the human leader off in the distance giving orders to retreat. Gornutz had always thought that human-talk sounded like grot farts. Their nasally voices annoying but not as annoying as those zoggin' trees...

1 comments:

Rhellion said...

"Dem pewpew-lazurs weren't fit fer grots!"

ahahaha

Poke dem in da eye!

 
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